11. Fox News needs a weather girl.
10. Taking a little time off to work on her sports analogies.
9. Letterman offered her a job as a writer. (Actually, it was Jimmy Fallon; but that pit bull joke was just the tip of the iceberg, folks.)
8. Felt she needed more time to train for upcoming marathon against Barack when she realized he's "from Africa, which is where all the good marathon runners come from."
7. Troopers caught her trying to park a state-owned chopper in a drive-thru after shooting down wolves.
6. Russian coaches saw her shooting hoops from their house and they want her to play for the national mens' team.
5. Levi Johnston knocked her up.
4. Pressure from the "special needs" community, who felt they were being poorly represented.
3. Recently started listening to Michael Jackson; touched by the line "the doggone girl is mine," she really wants to meet the singer.
2. Todd took her on a walk without a leash last week; she defecated on former Sen. Ted Stevens' lawn and he called animal control.
1. Because it's summer, and that means 20 hours a day to drink hot blood from freshly slit deer necks!
